Overcoming Struggle Part Two: Maintaining & Deepening Our Healing Journey
Our journey has begun, so let's keep going
If you have followed me from the previous article “Overcoming Struggle Part One: Beginning Our Healing Journey” you will now be aware of why we ‘struggle’ and of five powerful steps to get us started on our journey to being healthier, happier humans. Next I would like to dive a little deeper to share with you five more steps that are going to open up the healing journey into what it truly is; our unique path to becoming who we truly are - our Unconditioned Self.
The Unconditioned Self / A Soul’s Expression
So what is the Unconditioned Self? Well, it is who we are beyond the ego and the matrix of our conditioned personality. It is who we are without the labels, definitions and beliefs. We are not our name. We are not our job title. We are not our gender. We are not our sexuality. We are not our age. We are not our star sign. We are not our relationship to others - son, daughter, mother, father, brother, sister, wife, husband or friend. We are not our personality. We are not our beliefs. We are not our mind. We are not our body. We are not our spirit. We are not even all these labels put together. We are. We just are. We are beyond labels and form. We are pure formless energy vibrating at a unique frequency, but if we absolutely must have a label, a “soul’s expression” is as good a signpost as we're going to get. This is our essence. This is our true identity.
Radical Self-Acceptance
So, now that we know where we are going - the place beyond labels, home to our True Self, how do we get there? Well, if you read the previous article you’ll know that healing our trauma and deconditioning our mind is one of the primary means of getting there. This process allows us to let go of everything that is not us; all the limiting labels we have unconsciously associated ourselves with; and all the limiting beliefs we have unconsciously picked up that restrict our understanding of our potential and how reality and the world actually work. On this journey we will be faced with our pain, shame, grief, guilt and rage - our shadow side, which up until now has remained hidden in the deepest recesses of our unconscious minds, only occasionally bubbling up in our dreams or when we are triggered.
The greatest tool we have to aid us in this challenging endeavour is ‘radical self-acceptance’, our ability to willingly understand and accept ourselves no matter what we encounter. Only if we accept our shadows, our pain, our shame, our anger, and love ourselves in spite of these undesirable qualities can these shadows be integrated back into our being in a healthy way.
From my experience the healing journey doesn’t really end, but it does get better and more interesting and by integrating our shadows, we unlock our innate hidden gifts and talents. These gifts and talents are exactly the tools we need to create the life of our wildest dreams. They are how we create our destinies and fulfill our soul’s expression.
Step Six: Get to know ourselves through Shadow Work
The Shadow
‘The Shadow’ is the name coined by famous depth psychologist, Carl Jung, to describe the unconscious aspects of our personality - mainly subconscious behaviours, beliefs & patterns. These are the deep, dark parts of our psyche that our conscious minds are not aware of, yet they control and affect our behaviour in every waking moment - these aspects are not really who we are, but we may think they are part of our identity. Most of us are not aware of our shadow and dare not look for it, as it is where all our shame, pain, guilt and trauma lies, but we all have a shadow and as Carl Jung says; “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
How does the shadow form?
Our psyche is split in two from a young age; conscious and unconscious; light and dark. As a child we explore our personality within the environment we are brought up in and our psyche automatically pushes aspects of our personality into the dark that threaten our basic needs; physiological needs; safety and security needs; and our need for love & belonging.
Aspects of us that are encouraged and deemed acceptable by our peers (other children & siblings) and superiors (parents, elders, teachers etc.) are kept in the light, while aspects that our peers and superiors discourage or react negatively to are repressed and shunned into darkness. Here they are forgotten, but nevertheless remain part of us, spontaneously emerging in certain situations like a wild disembodied spirit and influencing everything we do, including our decision making, our likes and dislikes, and our personality and behaviour.
Here are list of some behaviour traits that are often clear signs of our Shadow in action:
Reactivity (getting triggered at people or situations)
Projection (judging someone / something negatively when the aspect we judge is within us)
Negative Patterns (if we repeatedly find ourselves playing out the very similar negative situations as we have in the past or find ourselves continually attracting negative people into our life)
Aggression or submissiveness
Excessive positivity (hiding the shadow) or negativity (expressing the shadow)
Emotional numbness
Eroticising unresolved wounds and unmet needs (e.g. acting out unhealthy power dynamics with sexual partners)
Dehumanising others
Over-tolerance of others’ aggressive or harmful behaviour
An exaggerated need to please or be liked
Self-sabotage
Refusal to say that we’re sorry or saying sorry excessively (more excessively than the average Brit)
Shadow Work
Shadow Work is the process by which we consciously shine a light on those dark, hidden, unconscious elements of our personality so we can understand, accept, heal and integrate them back into our conscious personality. It is a vital part of personal growth. There are several different approaches to shadow work and they all require us to be a detective of sorts, investigating ourselves as if we were the scene of a crime. Here are some of the simplest and most powerful steps we can take:
Follow the leads - Read the list of typical shadow signs (above) and see if any of them apply to you.
Journal / Reflect - If you have some leads, write down everything you know about that behaviour trait; when you typically do it, when you don’t do it, who or what triggers you into it, who doesn’t trigger you into it and why you think you do it. When we journal we access our unconscious and so quite often this process helps us see what we didn’t see before so we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves.
Recall our childhood - Most of our shadows are imprinted in our childhoods so it is incredibly helpful to recall as much of it and the various difficulties and hardships we experienced as possible. We could even ask any parents that are willing to share their memory of our earliest childhood. Mothers are particularly good at remembering the earliest days as they are often the most empathetic to our needs and struggles.
Use other people as our mirror - “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” - Carl Jung. If we watch our emotional reactions to people and situations; what makes us sad, angry, distressed, shocked, frustrated, disturbed or scared, it can reveal very important information about ourselves. What we judge in others is what you judge in ourselves - and what we judge, we reject. In these moments (or later that day while the memory is fresh) we must ask ourselves “What am I feeling?”, “Why am I feeling this?” and see if our mind produces the answer. If we go deep enough we will see that it is never anything to do with the people or situation that triggered us and is almost always to do with what happened to us in our childhood.
Dream work - According to Jung the most powerful way to do Shadow Work was to analyse our dreams, as to Jung dreams were not random images produced by random firing of neurons, but an integral natural process by which the unconscious mind communicates to us. The problem is that nobody is taught the language by which the unconscious mind speaks; the language of symbolism. The book “Inner Work: Using dreams and active imagination for personal growth” was written by one of the most respected studies of Jung and gives you an insight into the nature of our psyches and practical steps by which we can record and analyse our dreams.
Bring loving awareness & acceptance to our discoveries - If we get an insight into a shadow aspect of ourselves we must bring a loving awareness and acceptance to the memories and feelings produced. We must not shame, blame or judge the shadow or else we will simply be rejecting it all over again, which will have the opposite effect to healing. One of the best ways to bring loving awareness to our shadow is to either contemplate the shadow aspect in silence or to take it into an “inner child” meditation in an app like Insight Timer.
Be patient - Sometimes our shadows and their source don’t come immediately and that’s O.K. Shadow Work is a process and it requires time and patience. We can patiently continue the work we are doing or we can always adopt another approach.
See our struggles as learning and growing opportunities - if we can shift our perspective from seeing our struggles as “problems” or “issues” to seeing them as “learning opportunities” we can drastically change the quality of our experience and exponentially increase the speed at which we grow. From this perspective we are no longer the victims of life, but we are the hero of our own story, meeting each obstacle we encounter with courage and grace.
Step Seven: Radical Honesty / Speaking our truth
There is a practice I like to call ‘radical honesty’, which is the practice of speaking our truth all the time in every interaction and never lying. It has the power to greatly improve and simplify our lives, yet with rare exception most of us have become accustomed to not sharing how we really feel when we are interacting with other humans out in the world.
Much of this behaviour is due to being socialised to “be polite” and “fit in”, which often equates to “be quiet” and “follow the herd”. These traits made a lot of sense when we were younger because expressing them meant that we would be loved and accepted by our peers and superiors. Now that we are older however, they impede our growth and stunt our spiritual evolution.
Note: I believe the term radical honesty was trademarked in 1997 as a self-help practice and there are several books and teachers who preach a similar message - Kim Scotts ‘Radical Candor’ which focuses on honesty in the workplace & ‘Sam Harris’ ‘Lying’ which focuses on the moral, social, physiological effects of lying vs telling the truth.
Agreeableness
We all have a personality trait called “agreeableness” (Big Five Personality Test), which puts us on a scale between extremely disagreeable on one end and extremely agreeable on the other. People high in agreeableness are: nice, compliant, nurturing, kind, naively trusting and conciliatory. People with these traits tend to avoid conflict and often hide what they think. People low in agreeableness are: not so nice, stubborn, dominant, harsh, skeptical and competitive. People with these traits tend to be straightforward or blunt, so you know where they stand.
Wherever you sit on the scale of agreeableness, just know your personality is not a fixed system. You can change your personality over time if you want to because you are not your personality. Agreeable people can learn to speak up for themselves and learn to be more discerning about what they agree to and what they disagree to. Disagreeable people can learn to be more compassionate and considerate when speaking their truth and more open to agreeing with others. Our personalities can be balanced for our benefit.
Speaking from our essence raises our self-worth
Speaking our truth is important because we all have a unique essence, a true self, that wants to be expressed. Many believe that expressing this essence is the only reason we are here on planet Earth playing the human game. If we are not expressing this essence we are blocking our true nature and in doing so are inhibiting our happiness, growth and wellbeing. Expressing or not expressing this essence has a direct relationship and correlation to our self-worth. The more we express it, the better we feel about ourselves and the more our self-worth grows. The more we block it the worse we feel about ourselves and the more our self-worth shrinks. Furthermore, the more we express our truth, the more we gravitate towards people and things that are aligned with us and the more we find the people or things that are not aligned falling away from our lives.
Some of us don’t speak our truth because we are too afraid of repercussions or too afraid of hurting another person's feelings. The rest of us don’t speak our truth because we haven’t bothered to find out what our truth is. We need to stop this. When we stop lying to ourselves and others, stop telling mistruths, stop hiding how we really feel about things and begin to speak from our essence, things in our life start to shift and change very rapidly:
Our relationships (friends, family, partners) change for better as truth breathes new life into them. They become healthier, more dynamic and exciting, particularly with our partners. Being honest with our partners engenders them to do the same, which in healthy relationships increases intimacy and connection. However, this is not always the case and speaking our truth may highlight the fact that the relationship must end, because the truth may be that the relationship is no longer good for us.
Our workplace life improves as we begin to get noticed more and be taken more seriously. We may find ourselves quickly being in the running for promotions and pay rises - in fact, we are quite likely to demand promotions and pay rises because we realised they were long overdue. If we don’t receive what we ask for, it may be our truth to leave the job and find new, better employment that is more in line with our essence and self-worth.
Our interactions with random strangers become much more magical and engaging. Speaking our truth is not always about what is wrong; if we see something we like in someone else we let them know. We give them a compliment and a smile. This may be all that amasses or a compliment and a smile could turn into a full blown conversation and maybe even a friendship or a job opportunity.
Our relationship to ourselves becomes more pure and understanding. When we stop ignoring parts of ourselves we finally see how valuable those parts are to our being. When we integrate them we often find that we can better manage our needs and we have more resources to achieve our goals in life.
We need to explain or defend ourselves less as we move into a place of embodied living. When we live from our essence we become magnetic and we radiate our truth like an energetic beacon. There are no words necessary. People can see it. People can feel it.
Step Eight: Moving from our minds to our heart & gut intelligence
We live in a mind dominated world. Thinking is our primary activity. We wake up in our mind, we go to work in our mind, we watch tv in our mind and quite often we eat and make love with it too. The functions of the mind and the brain from which they are thought to stem are seen as the be all and end all. All others organs must bow before the all mighty mind. This is not a result of design, but a result of culture and education. There are other intelligences within the body, but as a collective we are very detached from them. Did you know your heart has neurons that allow it to think, feel, learn and memorise independent of the brain? Did you know why the gut is known as the second brain?
The Mind As Our Sixth Sense
“The mind is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master.” - Robin Sharma
Our mind is a powerful ally in making sense of the world. It generates thoughts (some useful, many not so useful) for our consideration. The problem is we take the thoughts too seriously, as if they were in any way true or real. They are not true or real. They are just thoughts and it's up to our discernment as a conscious being to decide what thoughts hold value and should receive our energy and what thoughts should be ignored completely.
Also known as The Survival Mind or Ego, it evolved millions of years ago to help our human / ape ancestors survive in times when we could literally be killed at any moment. Surviving was like a gauntlet for humans. It required the brain to assess the environment at great speed so it could flag potential dangers instantaneously. Our thoughts labeled and judged things as good or bad, safe or dangerous for our survival. This was how “thinking” emerged.
However, in modern times the survival mind and its mechanisms are no longer necessary and tend to work against us, drawing energy from our trauma; to make us worry; to make us think we’re not good or capable enough; to make us judgmental of others; to make us anxious and stressed. We don’t want to shit on the mind, but we do want to knock it off its throne so it can take its rightful place as the sixth sense alongside our sensory organs; touch, taste, smell, sight & hearing.
Mind Vs Heart Intelligence Experiment
The smart people at The Heart Math institute in the US are doing world renowned research and experiments on the power of the heart. There was one experiment done where they invited a bunch of test subjects to watch a series of slides while they recorded their heart and brain responses. The slides contained a variety of images. Some were beautiful and tranquil and some were disturbing and gruesome. The heart and brain both responded differently to the visual stimuli depending on whether the images were pleasant or unpleasant in nature.
Most interestingly, while the brain responded to the images as expected; generating brain activity a fraction of a second after a new image appeared on the slides, the heart's response was completely unexpected. It was responding to a new image a fraction of a second before a new image appeared on the slides. The heart knew whether the image was going to be pleasant or unpleasant before the image was revealed.
This experiment should give us an insight into the power of heart intelligence and how intuition (its signaling method) works. According to Heart Math, information is picked up from the heart first, then is channeled up to the brain as intuition, and lastly to down to the gut. Most of us tend to dismiss our intuitive messages from the heart after our mind comes in to generate thoughts that attempt to rationalise the information. Our last port of call is the gut, which combines information from the heart and the mind and generally only kicks in more extreme situations where we need to make a big decision or when we are in danger.
The Differences Between Mind & Heart Intelligence
The heart is the source of our intuition, but most of us don’t have a relationship with it and can’t recognise its signals. Here are some musings to help us discern the difference between an idea from the mind and an idea from the heart:
Our heart is; courageous, compassionate, passionate, fearless, forgiving & loving. Our mind is; comfort seeking, pleasure seeking, pragmatic, analytical, fearful & anxious.
Our heart is our connection to our soul (which exists outside of space and time) and it's only impulse is to express its nature. Our mind is connected to our emotions, our past experience, our rationale and our fears; its impulse is survival.
Our heart is interested in long term gains and it doesn’t mind short term pain, because it knows there are valuable lessons in pain. The mind is more interested in short term gains and avoiding pain.
Intuition is the idea that comes immediately when you think about a choice. The mind is the rationalisation and thinking that comes in afterwards.
Intuition can seem irrational. The mind can seem logical.
Intuition is love based. The mind is fear based.
Intuition is infinite wisdom. The mind is limited understanding.
Intuition is subtle and requires space to be heard. The mind is loud and takes up space.
Intuition requires surrender. The mind requires control.
Using intuition is not knowing. Using the mind is thinking we know.
Intuition taps into knowledge and awareness outside of time and space - the higher self. The mind uses our learned, conditioned or observed human experiences as reference.
How to live from heart intelligence
Just like any relationship, developing a relationship with your heart and your intuition requires work. We need to consciously grow our bond to it with trust. Here are some ways to do it:
Go with your initial impulse. When faced with a choice or decision, go with your initial impulse as it was most likely your intuition speaking. Do this all the time and see where it takes you.
Surrender / Let Go. Living from the heart requires letting go of knowing the outcome, letting go of expectation and letting go of control. You are putting your trust in your heart and the universe that it will all work out, which feels very different from trusting your controlling mind.
Live spontaneously. When you get a spontaneous urge to do something, do it! The heart is way more fun than the mind and it will often tell you to do something you hadn’t planned to shake you out of your routine.
Brain Heart Coherence Mediations. The Heart Math Institute and people like Joe Dispenza have developed powerful meditations to bring your brain into coherence with the heart. When the brain and heart are in coherence we are more confident, more at peace and more in tune with our intuition and our true nature.
Step Nine: Find Our Teachers / Teachings
Now that we know how to tap into and recognise our intuition, we can use it to help direct and guide us toward teachers and teachings that are going to be beneficial for our healing and spiritual growth. This is important because we now have access to gazillions of amazing and mind blowing content aimed at making us understand ourselves better, healing physical and psychological trauma and illness and unlocking our full potential. There is too much to consume even if you are someone who is capable of bingeing a Netflix series in a weekend. Furthermore, some of this content may not be a vibrational match for us (not our vibe) and some of this content may not be useful at all, in fact, it may be harmful or misleading. So where do you start? How do we start?
Pay attention to what comes your way - especially if it comes in threes
As mentioned in Part One, an easy and powerful way to find the teachers and teachings that are meant for you is to pay attention to what you are drawn to and what people in your circles are recommending to you. From a spiritual perspective this can be seen as the universe itself giving you a recommendation. The universe has the dynamic of bringing us the information we have been consciously or unconsciously asking for, but because we are not aware of this dynamic, the signs it sends us tend to drift by unnoticed. If you are thinking, “but my friends only tell me to watch The Bachelor and Breaking Bad”, then you may be missing the signs.
Pay attention to recommendations that come in twos or threes. For example, perhaps you randomly pick up a book in the bookstore and say “hey this looks interesting”, but then put it back on the shelf and walk out. Then two weeks later someone tells you they are reading that very same book, and you think “hey that’s funny I saw that book in the store the other day”. This is a pretty clear sign that you were intuitively drawn to it in the first place, but your rationalising mind deterred you from buying it. But if you still miss the sign, a friend may end up lending you a copy of it. If this happens, you better bloody read it!
Pay attention to what does and does not resonate
We are all energy vibrating at a unique frequency, which leads us to be unconsciously drawn to other energies of a similar frequency - energies that are of a vibrational match. This is why birds of a feather flock together and why some people like thrash metal or psytrance and some people prefer classical or country. We don’t fully comprehend this dynamic, but we know what sounds good to us and we know what feels good to us even if we don’t know why. We also know what does not sound or feel good to us, because what is good resonates and what is not doesn’t.
“Resonates” means “to be filled with a deep, full, reverberating sound”. This is pretty much the sensation of hearing something true. It sounds true. It feels true. Truth has a distinct sensation that can be felt deeply in the body. This is because the heart in its infinite intelligence always knows what is and is not true and it will send signals to notify you of this wisdom. The problem arises when our minds get in on the action and start to rationalise and have its say on what it thinks is true and is not true. The mind is not basing its analysis on infinite intelligence, it is basing it on limited understanding (judgement, logic, past experience, conditioning). But we can become aware of this dynamic, and we can trust the feeling of truth resonating in our body even if our mind doubts and thinks otherwise. This is how we allow ourselves to be guided by our intuition and it can lead us to people, places and teachings that are beyond what we could have ever imagined.
It is also worth noting that just because someone recommended something to you, it doesn't mean it is a match for you. You may get into it and feel that it isn’t for you at all, and if that’s the case, that is perfectly fine. You don’t need to finish or partake in anything that is not resonating with you. However, just beware that many of us have the unconscious tendency to resist what we don’t understand or to resist what makes us feel uncomfortable. This is because our lack of understanding makes us feel inadequate and our uncomfortable feelings take us into a triggered state due to an underlying trauma. If this is the case, feeling inadequate or uncomfortable may be a really positive sign that what you are partaking in is beneficial and that there could be deep insight that can be gleaned from the experience.
Recommendations / Where to start
Reading or watching content on Self-Help / Healing / Mind-Body-Spirit
You can either start with a friendly recommendation from the universe (a friend) or by seeking out an answer to a problem you are currently facing in life or by signing up to a platform like Gaia, which is basically a spiritual Netflix. I guarantee if you’ve got a problem, there is a life-changing book, movie, tv show or youtube channel out now that will solve it for you, you just have to look for it. And I mean any problem! You just have to be open to sources of information that may be outside your current worldview, especially if it is about healing. For the most part, the western mind has been conditioned to believe that you can only be healed through western medicine and all other forms of healing and medicine are snake oil. This is of course not true. Every culture that has ever existed has developed their own methods for healing, many of which flourish today. Just follow your intuition and explore what you find yourself drawn to with an open heart and an open mind.
Youtube / Instagram Teachers
Youtube, Instagram and even TikTok are now filled with self-help gurus and spiritual teachings offering their own brand of wisdom. As discussed, use recommendations and your own intuition to discern what teachers are going to be beneficial to your growth and development. I’m hesitant on giving out recommendations here, as everyone is so different, but I will give a couple to share why I think I was drawn to them.
I like teachers who balance the rational and the irrational, the scientific and the spiritual, because my mind is very logical and rational, but I’m very open to new ideas and spirituality. The Youtube teachers I’ve found a strong vibrational match with are Aaron Abke and Christina Lopes as they both convey their spiritual ideas with grounded scientific explanations. As most Youtubers have dozens if not hundreds of videos, it is useful to zero in on something that is relevant to your life right now by using the “search” function on their channel.
The Master Teachers
There are many masters both alive and passed on that can offer invaluable insight into our true nature and the nature of reality. Each master offers their own unique flavour and perspective based upon their experiences of truth and enlightenment. Some are great speakers like Ram Dass, Alan Watts & Ekhart Tolle with lots of recordings on youtube from their various talks and lectures, and others are great writers like Osho, Michael A. Singer & Sri Ramana Maharshi. Allow yourself to explore and be guided to the teachers that resonate most deeply with you. You may even find that you are drawn to the transcendent wisdom of Jesus or the Bhagavad Gita of Vedic philosophy. If you are brilliant, they have a lot to offer, just remember to practice discernment and take what resonates and leave the rest.
Online Courses
There are literally thousands of online courses now from various spiritual teachers, guides and gurus, not to mention a few hustlers! As this suggests, some are brilliant and absolutely worth your time and money and others may leave you feeling ripped off. As discussed, the tactic here is to follow your intuition and to do your research. Always check the credentials and reputation of the teacher and if you can't, come into your heart and ask yourself if this is the course for me - basically don't let the mind and it's desires "to be fixed" or "better" to be sucked in by a miracle course selling happiness.
Because I think choosing the right course for you is a personal journey, I will only be giving one recommendation and that is because it is completely free right now and it is absolutely brilliant - although you will have to wait until it next becomes available.
Create Your Destiny - this 6 week course was created by author and magician William Whitecloud and is being offered for free as an act of service to the world - he and his team aim to get a million people enrolled in it. The course is designed to open you up to your innate "super conscious" awareness so that you can sidestep your limiting beliefs & behaviours and live in your creative power. Each week takes you step by step deeper and deeper into the profound and life changing natural ability all humans have - the ability to manifest our dreams.
Self-knowledge systems
Self-knowledge systems are kind of like courses, but they are much deeper in that they have a whole original system of thought and practice built into them designed to teach you about yourself. Although they do teach certain beliefs and understandings, they are mostly premises for the purpose of teaching you about how the system works so that you can use it to learn about yourself. See if one that resonates with you. Here are three powerful systems I have used:
To Be Magnetic (TBM) - this is an incredible resource full of courses on how to manifest with a particular focus on doing inner child work and shadow work. This is not just spiritual. There is legitimate science behind this work, particularly in the field of neuroplasticity and the brain's power to create new neural pathways. The creator, Lacy Phillips, specially designed deep hypnotic meditations called 'Deep Imaginings' that take you into your unconscious so you can heal and reprogram traumatic imprints and shadows. This system of self knowledge is particularly attractive to women, (although many men do it too, including me) most likely because the creator is a woman and she hosts a very popular woman lead podcast called Expanded.
Human Design - this is a very powerful self-knowledge system that combines many ancient esoteric systems such as astrology, i-ching, Kabbalah & Vedic philosophy. You start by getting a free chart here or here which is created from your date, time and place of birth. This tells you what energy type you are; a manifester, a generator/manifesting generator, a projector or a reflector. Each energy type has specific qualities, strategies for success and authorities (the way you make decisions) to live by. I found out I was a projector for example, which means I generate limited energy of my own compared to other energy types, and that a good tactic for success for me is to "wait for the invitation" - rather than going out giving my energy out willy nilly. I found this insight incredibly profound and helpful as it allowed me to be more understanding to myself instead of wishing I had more energy to work, which is the equivalent to wishing I was something I'm not. The energy types are only the tip of the iceberg and there is limitless depth and complexity to explore in the online courses. Beware the complexity can appear very daunting to begin with, and so it takes some investment to understand the system and the terminology, but the benefits can be profound.
The Gene Keys - my current favourite of the systems, may appear complex upon first glance, is actually deceptively simple. Born out of Human Design, its focus is mapping the wisdom of the i-ching to the 64 codons within our DNA. Here lies the genetic blueprints of our unique programming, all our shadows and all our gifts. The Gene Keys promote the "art of contemplation" to bring about revelation and insight into our true nature. The aim of the game is to contemplate our gene keys to raise our frequency from our shadows patterns into our gifts and if we really become adept, into our "siddhis", which are our enlightened states. Just like human design you can pop in your time, date, place of birth for a free "hologenetic profile" to get you started. If the profile resonates you can then purchase the book and the "Activation Sequence" course to get started with your journey of contemplation.
Step Ten: Choose Your Own Adventure
If you have experienced a “breakthrough” on your healing journey (see Part One) you will likely feel much better than you did, and may have a new lease of life, but this is just the beginning of the healing journey. This beautiful feeling may last for quite a while, but you will inevitably run into something else within you that wants to be healed. You may want or need to do periodic “breakthrough” experiences throughout your journey when you come up against an emotional block or another period of intense struggle, otherwise, the healing journey is maintained with regular “work” & “practice” so we may continue to grow, flourish and expand. There are literally hundreds of modalities to choose from, so here is another extensive, but not exhaustive list of the most popular:
Journaling / Self-Reflection - Now this was mentioned earlier in the Shadow Work section, but it bears repeating. Journaling is one of the easiest and most powerful self-healing tools we have. Through journaling we can begin to get to know our full authentic selves, complete with all our worries, fears, dreams and desires. Putting pen to paper, immediately opens up access to our unconscious minds, which is said to be the 95% of our mind - hidden beliefs, values, behaviours, dynamics, wounds & patterns that quietly and automatically control us from the shadows. When we write, we allow unconscious information to flow onto the page, often to our surprise and wonder. What we write can be down right revelatory.
Daily Meditation - Practicing daily Mindfulness meditations, Mantra Meditations, or Body Scan meditations etc. have been scientifically proven to reduce stress and anxiety and boost a whole host of things including creativity, clarity, peace, energy levels, wellbeing and even years in your life. Most importantly to the truth seeker it gradually brings awareness of who you are beyond your personality and identity. I prefer daily meditations without guides, but if you are just beginning you may want to download a structured app such as Balance, Headspace or Calm. Balance are currently offering a year free membership so that’s worth taking up!
Guided Healing Meditations - The internet is littered with guided healing meditations, but apps like Insight Timer are a great place to start. They have thousands of teachers giving away thousands of free meditations for any mood and any type of healing you would like to do. Want to release anger? You got it. Want to learn about letting go of attachments? No problem. How about inner child healing? It’s got that too. Whatever you are feeling I guarantee there will be a meditation on here to make you feel like deciding to meditate today was the most self-loving act you could do.
Breathwork - Many breathwork practices including Wim Hof and Pranyama can be practiced at home and have powerful healing benefits if practiced regularly. Wim Hof breathing combined with cold showers can transform your nervous system over time so you are less anxious, more confident and have greater awareness and clarity. While Pranyama is said to do all that and clear the body of blockages in order to aid lung function, digestive function, blood pressure, and brain function. Here is a video to try Wim Hof and a video to try Pranayama.
EFT Tapping - A really simple and brilliant technique for releasing any negative emotions you are feeling. Simply repeating specific mantras and affirmations designed to reprogram old limiting beliefs whilst simultaneously lightly tapping on specific meridian points on the body can transform your emotional state over time. The more you do this the deeper you can go. There are many guided meditations and workshops for this online, and Insight Timer has some really beautiful EFT Tapping meditations too.
Therapy - Thankfully there is no stigma around doing this anymore, as more and more people realise that we all have psychological issues and we all need help. Seeing a therapist or a psychologist on a regular basis is recommended for everyone at least once in your life. Make sure you research into the different methodologies to find one that resonates with you because there are literally dozens of different psychotherapies now. These range from traditional cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) which relies on talk therapy to somatic therapy which uses physical techniques to aid mind, body connection and release trapped emotions, to transpersonal therapy which takes a holistic approach addressing mental, physical, social, emotional, creative, and intellectual needs through the lens that you are a soul in a human body.
Yoga - Yoga has existed for over 5,000 years and it is not just stretching or exercise. It is a bonafide healing technique and can reduce stress and anxiety, release trapped emotions and increase mental clarity, attention and body awareness. There are many different kinds of yoga each designed with a specific intention; from Hatha Yoga designed to balance, stretch, and strengthen the body so it can be in an asana (pose) without physical or mental tension; to Kundalini Yoga which utilises chanting, singing and breathing exercises to activate shakti (spiritual energy) within the body; to Bhakti Yoga, also known as devotional yoga, which is the practice of dedicating your love towards your personal god or deity. Most Yoga practices are used now for maintaining balanced health and wellbeing, but if practiced religiously and developed to its highest level, can lead to enlightenment.
Tantra - Tantra is an Eastern philosophy that weaves together many spiritual practices including mindfulness, breathing, meditation, mantras and sex. Many get hung up thinking Tantra is just about sex (although Tantric Sex is a great thing to explore with your partner to develop your intimacy with one another), but it is much more far reaching than that. It has the power to lead you into heightened awareness, deeper embodiment, greater naturalness, increased intimacy and connection in our sexual and non-sexual relationships and transcendent experiences of the divine.
Womens / Mens Circles - These are intimate places where men & women can come together to hold space for one another. A place where we can be vulnerable with our fellow sex and receive support if necessary. Unfortunately it is much harder to come by mens circles given the repressed nature of men's emotions, but it's not impossible - I hope to start one myself in the future.
Regular Exercise - Whether you enjoy walks, running, team sport or the gym, keeping your body fit and healthy is a vital part of your healing journey.
Martial Arts & Qigong - Martial Arts are far more than another form of exercise or simply fighting without the blood. Most come from the East and so are also a spiritual practice. They teach discipline, courage, awareness, breathing, moving and respect. You have everything from Maui Thai on the more aggressive side to Aikido which is also known as the art of harmony. Qigong on the other hand is an ancient Chinese exercise and healing technique that utilises meditation, controlled breathing and movement exercises to move energy around the body.
Healthy eating - This may seem obvious, but more and more people are realising the damage unhealthy foods and drinks are doing to our bodies and minds. A bad or imbalanced diet can severely limit our energy and thus our day to day potential to do the things we want to do and be the people we want to be. Furthermore, cutting out things like gluten, coffee, alcohol or heavy amounts of meat can be just what your body needs to reach full aliveness. You could consider seeing a Naturopath or an Ayurveda specialist to learn more about your own unique body and what is good for it.
Creativity / Expressing Yourself - Do not underestimate the healing power of expressing yourself through your own brand of creativity. If you don’t have a brand, find one, because we are all creative in some way. You may just have to think a little out of the box, but allow yourself to be drawn to any form of expression that wants to come through you. If it is painting for example, the painting doesn’t need to be “good” in an objective sense, because there is no objectivity when it comes to art, only subjectivity. The painting doesn’t even need to be about art or the end product, it could just be about the joy of painting itself - the joy of using a brush, the joy of colours, the joy of texture, the joy of getting your hands dirty, the joy of expressing your emotions through a non-verbal medium. Other creative acts of creativity include; dancing, singing, writing, building, sewing, speaking, playing, creating, inventing & storytelling, but there are infinite others. Find yours!
Tarot Cards - Some see Tarot as something only for people who are spiritually inclined, but Tarot is designed to work with human psychology, much like the Rorschach Inkblot Test, but instead of ink blots you look at cards with images on them and meanings associated with them. The symbolic imagery and poetic language of the Tarot are designed to communicate directly with your unconscious mind and have the power to draw up and pull out thoughts and feelings not currently in your conscious awareness. Tarot is a powerful tool that we can use to shine a light into the darkness of our unconscious mind, to learn more about who we are right now, why we are the way we are, what's in the way of who we want to become and how we might overcome these obstacles, so that we can take a more active role in our personal and spiritual growth. You can either book a session with a practitioner or you can buy your own deck for personal practice - it’s easier than you may think!
Oracle Decks - Oracle Cards are similar to Tarot, but are generally simpler, in that they leave less open to interpretation. This doesn’t make them any less powerful, just less versatile. There are hundreds of different types of oracle deck and they can be amazing tools for divination. Find a deck that resonates with you.
The Letting Go Technique - As taught by Dr David R. Hawkins in his book ‘Letting Go, The Pathway To Surrender’, this simple but incredibly powerful technique helps you let go of negative emotions, fixed perspectives, limiting beliefs, doubts, worries, fears - basically anything standing between you and a peaceful state of being. This technique is so simple and powerful that it could and should be taught in schools. I’ll let the man himself explain a little more:
“Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to make it different or do anything about it. It means simply to let the feeling be there and to focus on letting out the energy behind it. The first step is to allow yourself to have the feeling without resisting it, venting it, fearing it, condemning it, or moralising about it. It means to drop judgment and to see that it is just a feeling. The technique is to be with the feeling and surrender all efforts to modify it in any way. Let go of wanting to resist the feeling. It is resistance that keeps the feeling going. When you give up resisting or trying to modify the feeling, it will shift to the next feeling and be accompanied by a lighter sensation. A feeling that is not resisted will disappear as the energy behind it dissipates.”
This technique is so powerful that over time you can let go of literally everything including your fixed ideas about who you are and what reality is, which can lead you into mystical and enlightened states.
Final Words
If you made it to the end of this tremendously long article I applaud you and I hope that you found value in it. Perhaps you want to bookmark it for reference and send it to a friend or family member who you think may find it useful? Between this article and the last I hope to have covered enough ground to allow anyone interested in exploring healing and spirituality a window for which to begin or further their own journey.
I am Your Friendly Neighbourhood Shaman and I have my own practice aimed at helping guide people on their journey to healthiness, happiness, and wholeness. I offer ‘Shadow Work Guidance’, ‘Soul Work Guidance’ and ‘Alignment Guidance’ as well as a variety of readings and healings to help people on their healing journeys. Enquire or book a reading with me at www.neighbourhoodshaman.com
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Much love, Your Friendly Neighbourhood Shaman
